Your life is the total of your thoughts, feeling, and behaviors. All of the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that you have throughout the day, are putting you in this exact spot in life – in this exact moment in time. All you have – all you are – are from the sum total of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
Once you can fully grasp this concept in your life, you can quite literally start living the life of your dreams.
We want what is familiar. When something is familiar, it is comfortable. We tend to seek out comfort and familiarity instead of something different. But that something different is how you change.
If you are anything into the law of attraction or manifestation or living life on a higher frequency, I know you have heard this concept before.
What you program in, gets programmed out.
Where your energy goes, your attention flows.
You get what you expect.
All of these are true. But how does this affect your life? What do we truly mean when we say thoughts, feelings, and behaviors dictate our life?
Let’s do a few exercises to show you what I mean.
Thoughts, Feeling, and Behaviors
Let’s start with a simple one: Your daily habits.
I have a morning routine where I am awake by 530a and spend an hour meditating, sitting in silence, sitting in gratitude, full of love and bliss. My time to just sit and be incredibly grateful for another day on this beautiful planet. Another day to see my beautiful wife and kids. To make a change in the world with my writing. Just to see and be. I emit a very high frequency – high vibrations – during this time because I am in a state of love and bliss.
Then at 630a, my boy’s alarm goes off and I go from a state of love and bliss to chaos and anger. Trying to get kids out the door who don’t want to get dressed, eat breakfast, or even go to the flippin’ bathroom! My frequency – no matter how hard I try, goes to a low frequency.
Those 2 hours of the morning, give me a middle wave vibration to start my day. High, then low, puts you an average of the middle. My day isn’t ruined, but I am also not riding a high vibration at that moment. I am in the middle. I am the sum total of my thoughts, feeling, and behaviors.
How can I raise my vibrations here? I am working on being calmer, and emitting more love when I get my boys ready in the morning. I raise that vibration, my average vibration goes up throughout the day and things start improving. Got me so far?
Great – so let’s use a real-life example of how we can apply this to life and our goals. Let’s do it with money and wealth.
When I was 26, I got married to the love of my life. And boy that was a stressful time. We both were finishing up master’s degrees, working minimum wage jobs, and living in a townhome we barely were scraping to get by. I think I was at 27k a year or something like that. I had just learned about the law of attraction via reading The Secret and was starting to soak up all the authors in this space. One of those reads was The Feeling Is The Secret, by Neville Godard. Basically, Neville says that the secret to life is FEELING the way you want to feel in the future. By feeling the way you want to feel, you basically BE the person you need to be to DO The things to get you want.
My first big at-bat with this was manifesting more money into my life. But it couldn’t just be about the money, because money doesn’t have a direct feeling or emotion attached to it. It is what money can bring. So I did a 10 levels deep exercise – where you go 10 levels deep on the ‘why’. You can read more here on the 10 levels deep exercise.
Turns out for me, making more money means giving my wife, and my future kids the life they deserve. A house with a backyard, vacations, and the works. I HAD to get there. So I set a goal: 100k before I was 30 years old.
Why 100k? I mean – isn’t that the gold standard for wealth when you are making 27k? And why 30? IDK – seemed like a good even number. So I set it – and off I went.
2 years went by, and I was making 35k. Nowhere NEAR where I thought I would be. I should be close to at least 60k if 100k was going to come into reach. And here comes all the doubt about does the secret really work? Am I really meant just to be a 35k earner in my life? Maybe this is what wealth looks like in my life?
Then one night, I randomly decided to log into my Kindle and go through old books that I read in the past. And one stuck out like a sore thumb: The feeling is the secret.
THE FEELING IS THE SECRET
I wasn’t FEELING wealth. In fact – I was feeling the opposite. I was still feeling debt. Lack. Scarcity. And you know what I was getting? Debt. Lack Scarcity. I was still worried about if we had money each money. Still stressing that I can’t take my wife to anything but the dollar menu at Mcdonald’s. Still looking at my beater of a car I quite literally would pray to god to let it start just one more day so I can try to change this position. And you know what god did? He gave me exactly what I asked for. That car always just barely started. I just barely could afford date night. I always just barely paid the mortgage. But that wasn’t the wealth that was going to give my future family the life we need.
So I had to change my feeling. I started with the most basic of questions: What does wealth feel like?
Well – I will tell you what it doesn’t feel like. It doesn’t feel like worrying about money. It doesn’t feel like wondering if you can pay your house payment or not. It doesn’t feel like not being able to take your wife to nice dinners. It doesn’t feel like a piece of shit car.
And here is where I had that moment of change in my life. I realized I was trying to manifest the feeling of wealth by NOT manifesting the feeling of lack. But that only made me see and feel the lack. The emotion of scarcity. The thoughts of “can we afford life right now”. I needed to flip the script.
I needed to get around wealth. I needed to get accustomed to how wealthy people live and think, to cultivate those feelings.
At this time, I was driving an hour each way to my job. About halfway through, I drive through a city called Del Mar. Known to be a high-end area, but not outrageous. It was a city I always thought wealthy people would live, and I wanted to live if I was wealthy. So one random day, I pulled off the freeway and pulled into a little housing development there. I got out and just walked around.
God damn it was uncomfortable. People in nice clothes, with nice cars in the driveway, in their nice houses, were looking at me wondering what this rif raf was doing in their neighborhood – or so that is what I thought people were doing. Truth be told now – no one gave a shit I was there. So I walked around.
And I did it again. Different neighborhood. New day – new area. I went to the coffee shops in the morning and bought a coffee in Del Mar. I went to their parks. I picked up groceries at their stores. I surrounded myself with the feelings of “wealth” or how I interpreted wealth at this time. I also did things like subscribe to the Robb Report. Signed up for ‘high-end’ newsletters. And the kicker – I took my wife out for a dinner that cost over $100 for a date night. I have never had more stress in my entire life – but I knew I had to do it. Do you know why?
Every single one of those events raised my standard of wealth and lowered my standard of what I would accept in my life. Because my thoughts, feelings, and behaviors were aligned when the idea of wealth because I was surrounding myself with wealth. I was normalizing Mercedes and BMWs instead of Ford and Hondas. I was seeing 30k watches in magazines and saying “I don’t like that color” because I have seen so many. I was raising what it FELT LIKE to be wealthy.
And sure as shit – one thing led to another, I randomly landed a sales role within my company, went from 45k to 85k, and finally 118k the year I turned 30.
I didn’t even realize I made it until 2 months after my 30th birthday when I got my commission statement to YTD was over 100k. I sat back in my chair and was like ‘Whoa – this works’. And I haven’t looked back since.
Don’t Stop Believing
Trust me I know it is very hard to do when you are scraping to get by to try to cultivate the feelings of wealth. But also trust me when I tell you that you need to. If you want to achieve all the dreams you have dreamt, you MUST put the thoughts and feelings into a place of feeling in that state NOW, or else it will never come. Yes – it is awkward.
It is awkward valeting your 2009 Hyundai Elantra at a restaurant where there are Lambos and Ferraris. Yes, I know your hand literally trembles to hand over your $250 limit credit card for a $115 meal for the first time in your life. Yes, I know the look in your wife’s eye when you mustard up all the money you have to attend a concert, but literally have no money for even a goddamn pretzel at intermission, but you still say “Get whatever you want honey”. Trust me – I know those moments are tough.
But it hurts the worst the first time. Before you know it, you are valeting your porches and commenting on the ugly color of the Maclren you are parked next to. The every date night is $150+. And those concerts are the best indulgences of your life.
I don’t say those things to impress you – I really don’t. I want to impress upon you that I was a lost soul who finally learned how to make the universe work for me, but using my thoughts, feelings, and behaviors-, and if you want to get everything you want in life – this is the way.
Set your sights on what you want. figure out the true why. And do whatever you need to do to cultivate the feeling that the life you want is already in front of you. Then sit back and relax as you watch everything you have ever dreamed about come into your life.
Or you can continue to struggle the way you are living now. The choice is truly up to you.
