We live in a complex world. I know people who do things solely for an Instagram post. Seriously – they will order food because it will look good and get likes than actually taste good. LIFE IS BIGGER THAN INSTAGRAM.
You have to treat life as life. Not a fake life. Not a falsehood to get people to perceive you a specific way, so you can perceive yourself the other way. This message of appearing like you have something, but in your mind your really don’t it, confuses your brain and doesn’t allow the universe to grab hold of the person you really want to be because it is constantly struggling to find that person.
I heard a coach of mine in highschool say something that has always stuck with me:
“Those that talk about it – don’t have it”.
If someone is constantly bragging about things they have, there is a great chance they are over compensating for their inadequacy in that certain aspect of their life.
People that discuss all the money that have – probably don’t have any.
People that brag about working out all the time – probably sit on the couch and watch the real housewives for way too many hours.
People that brag about having a great relationship, probably are miserable when they get home from work.
People that talk about their ability to control their alcohol, probably has no control over it
Now – this isn’t the case 100%, but I’d say 99.99% of the time. Why? Because those that have, have – and those that don’t – don’t.
Those that have something are confident in that thing they have. They are use to it. It is nothing out of the ordinary to have something. And because it is nothing special, there is no reason to brag about it.
This is true in every possible way of your life: Your health, fitness, money, relationships, work life, etc. There are those that walk around the world, trying to make themselves feel better about what they are trying to make their appearance seem like. Look around you. Listen around you. Watch what someone is totally enamored over trying to make them see like they have something. There is an excellent chance they don’t. Don’t let this be you. Own who you are, and let that be enough!
Let’s do a few examples to let you know what I mean.
Example #1: Eating Habits
I know someone who is a Vegan. She is the Vegan’s vegan. She became a vegan due to health problems and it just became her lifestyle. She goes to restaurants, she just eats. She know her diet and she just goes about it. She doesn’t say something and they say “well – since I am vegan, I have to order this way”. Vegan-ism is to her lifestyle as breathing is. Now – I know someone who is also a Vegan – that eats whatever they want. They will eat anything and everything, unless they have a chance to bring up the fact they are vegan. “Oh sorry – I can’t eat that I am vegan” instead of a simple – no thank you. Pictures on FB – “check out my vegan fridge”. This isn’t a lifestyle. This is a talking point. This is a “hey everyone – I really don’t want to put int he work, but really want to make it seem like I am doing something” way of life.
Example #2: Fitness
Here is a fun one. There are those in the world that work out every single day. Some in the gym, some go for runs, other make just do a hike. Again – they don’t do anything but what they do. Then we get those who say they are avid runners, gym goers and other athletic feats of amazing. The throw in workouts into apps life MyFitnessPal or Nike+ like they are getting ready for the olympics. They feel awesome about themselves when they see they burned 184 calories taking a shower. They make sure their social media outlets are aware of the workouts they are doing. Yet – for some odd reason – they never actually get in shape…
Example #3: Small Business
I know people who run small business in their spare time. They work and work and work and do it for themselves. They don’t talk to people about it, unless they know it can net a new deal. They don’t post it on facebook. Hell – they don’t even have business cards! They simple put in the work to net whatever it is they journey after in the realm of business. I know other people who run a small business, but are more driven by the appearance of running the business than the actually business. The make sure you know that they can’t do something because they are running a business. They spend more time on business cards than they do growing their own business. They are more excited about the appearance of running a business than the actually running of a business.
Example #4: Money
This one is a great one, because most everyone makes some sort of money in some sort of capacity and the range is amazing! Humans always want to be the best of the best at something – that is human nature. So people sometimes compare themselves to money – and that causes them to use talking points quite a bit. There are people out that that have money. They make good money, they are great at savings, they have nice retirement accounts, the have a nice little cushion, and they don’t talk a damn dime to people. Their money is their money. Then there are those who talk about money ALL THE TIME. They tell you about their new job and immediately follow up by the pay scale – and if the scale isn’t up to par, they make sure to tell you. There are people that ask you after you get a promotion if you got a pay raise, just so they can compare it to where you are at there they are at. Then there is my favorite – those that live behind “THINGS” to give the appearance of a different life. People who buy the biggest cars, with the biggest rims, try to have the biggest house, all to be sure they have the biggest life so others can look at them and say “WOW”.
Lifestyle or Talking Points?
Those that don’t talk about something have that thing as part of their lifestyle. It is integrated in every single part of their life on a daily basis. It is as normal to them as breathing. You don’t hear someone bragging to you that they are breathing, do you? Those that talk about something frivolously, it is just that: a talking point. Something that they can use to make themselves feel better. It is a temporary fix.
Make your life about your lifestyle. Find out the person you want to be, the life you want to have, and how YOU want to live – NO ONE ELSE. And go live that life. Write down your mission statement, return to your mission statement multiple times a day, and live life on your terms.
Look – life is short. Don’t waste your time on talking points.
